Stay Close, Don't Go
by feisty firecracker
Summary: another songfic. my parting gift to you lot :D enjoy it. there will definitely be more. RR&R please!


**Disclaimer: **in some alternate, parallel dimension, I own both the story and the song. Unfortunately it's not one I live in.

Another songfic! A gift for you before I depart for Hawaii. :) How exciting! Haha, I think I'm going to be writing these for a while. It's my new addiction. :) That and Milk Duds. Hmmm, random. Oh well, please, rr&r! It's good for business, yeah?

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_I'm staring at the glass in front of me  
Is it half empty?  
Have I ruined all you've given me?_

I stared out the window, still as a statue, trying not to think, not to feel. I knew what would happen if I did. I left to give Bella a better life. One less dangerous. She didn't need to be in constant peril just to spend time with someone she loved. She would move on, I told myself. I'm the one who's irrevocably in love with her. She could find someone else. She could do better than me. Much as I wished that weren't true, I knew it was.

_I know I've been selfish  
I know I've been foolish_

I couldn't do it. I tried. I honestly tried to stay away from her, to forget her, but when Rosalie told me she had died….I tried to end my own life then. I had nothing left to live for. I selfishly thought that living without Bella would be worse for everyone than ending my own life. But then she came to me. She was alive. Alive and beautiful, and much too perfect for me. I was horrified that I had done this to her. How could I be so foolish? I needed to learn to listen to her for a change. She knew what she wanted, and this proved it.

_But look through that and you will see  
That I'll do better  
I know, baby I can do better_

"Never again," she whispered, her face buried in my chest as the tears continued to flow down her cheeks. I heard the agony in her voice and it ripped through me, searing my unbeating heart. I still couldn't see how I could be so cruel; how I could leave her like that.

"Never," I promised solemnly, holding her close to me, wishing that I could take it all back; wishing that none of this had happened. "I'm here until you want me to leave. I'll never make that mistake again, Bella."

_If you leave me tonight  
I'll wake up alone  
Don't tell me I will make it on my own_

I stared into her eyes, shocked by the love that was still there, warming the depths of the brown orbs. I couldn't believe she could still feel this way about me, after all I had done to her. I expected her to tell me to leave, to walk away from me and tell me that she had her own life now. I wouldn't blame her if she did. That's what I had told her I wanted for her. I would have deserved it if she left me like that. It was what I did to her. And the knowledge of that caused me more pain than anything in the world.

_Don't leave me tonight  
This heart of stone will sink till it dies  
If you leave me tonight_

"Do you want me to stay?" I asked her, afraid of the answer. Afraid that she would say what I feared; that she didn't want me; that she had moved on and was through with me and all the pain that I had caused her.

"Yes," her whispered answer caught me off guard. I looked up to see her watching me fearfully. "Will you stay?"

"Of course," I whispered into her hair as I pulled her into my arms. I agonized over the knowledge that she could no longer trust me, but I had done this to myself. I hated it. Not that she didn't trust me, but that I hurt her enough to make her believe that she wasn't worthy of me. That this beautiful, perfect, innocent creature thought that I, a selfish, murderous, monster, was too good to be with her.

_Sometimes I stare at you while you are sleeping  
I listen to your breathing_

I watched her as she slept, as I had done so many times before, delighting in the slow, even sound of her breath. This was the only time I ever heard it this even-paced when I was around her. When she was alert to my presence it hitched, coming faster as I touched her. Though I was thrilled that I could still bring about this reaction in her, it was soothing to hear the quiet, smooth sound. I smiled tenderly, brushing my lips against her cheek, laughing quietly as her breathing hitched for a moment before evening out. Obviously she was a trifle more aware than I had thought. It enthralled me to know that my love was so aware of my presence.

_Amazed how I somehow managed to  
Sweep you off your feet girl  
Your perfect little feet girl_

Bella looked up at me, a grin crossing her face. I smiled back at her, brushing the back of my hand along her jaw. What, I wondered, did I do to deserve such a perfect, beautiful creature? I didn't deserve any of this, but somehow, it was true. Somehow, the woman I had been waiting over one hundred years to meet was in love with me, this hideous, monstrous creature. I really didn't know how I did it. Of course humans were attracted to us, but I expected her to leave after she discovered what we were. Yet she stayed. She wanted to be with me, wanted to be a part of our family. It constantly amazed me, that after all that I had done to her, she still wanted this.

_I took for granted what you do  
But I'll do better  
I know, baby I can do better_

"I'm so sorry, Bella," I whispered, the pain in her deep brown eyes surely cutting me as deeply as it cut her. "I don't know how I could do such a thing to you. I thought you would move on, but all I did was cause you pain."

"No, Edward don't," she murmured, her arms snaking around my neck as she stared into my eyes. "Don't do this to yourself. You came back, don't forget that. You came back."

"And I'll never leave you again," I vowed, taking her into my arms and holding her close to me, but never close enough. "I'll stay with you as long as you want me here."

"Eternity then," she whispered, pressing her face to my chest, her warm breath making me shiver in delight.

"Eternity," I echoed, pulling her face to mine and pressing my lips to hers.

_If you leave me tonight  
I'll wake up alone  
Don't tell me I will make it on my own_

"May I stay?" I asked her, pleased that she rolled her eyes. She thought I was being absurd, but the truth was, I was expecting it one of these days. Soon, she would truly process what I had done and tell me to leave, tell me that she was finished with me. I couldn't complain; it was what I deserved. No, I deserved much worse than that. I deserved to die a slow, painful death, or worse yet, I deserved to watch her die a slow painful death. It was a horrible thought, but it was something I had earned.

"Yes, Edward, I want you to stay," she answered, stepping closer to me and wrapping her arms around my waist. She looked up at me. "I'll always want you to stay, so you can stop asking."

_Don't leave me tonight  
This heart of stone will sink till it dies  
If you leave me tonight_

I couldn't help but smile as she scowled up at me. She looked so beautiful when she was frustrated, but I couldn't tell her that without her hitting me, which didn't end well for either of us.

"Well, do you want to come?" I asked, excited for what I was planning, but still anxious that she might change her decision and go to Jacob. I would surely die if that happened, but it was getting easier and easier to believe that she truly had forgiven me.

"Yes," she said grudgingly, allowing me to pull her into a hug. I pressed my lips to her forehead as she glared up at me. "But I reserve my right to abstain from any activity if I see you've tricked me into something."

I chuckled. "Of course. I wouldn't dream of forcing you to do something. Now climb on my back." I grinned as she stiffened and pulled away, catching her hand. "Come on, little coward, climb on my back."

_And don't you know  
My heart is pumping  
Oh, it's putting up the fight_

She pressed her mouth to mine in a passionate kiss that froze me in place. My arms tightened unconsciously around her body, pulling her closer. I could swear I felting my heart beating a million miles an hour as her soft, warm lips applied a wonderful pressure to mine. I wasn't thinking as I kissed her back. It wasn't until I realized what was happening that I gently unglued her from me, smiling at her pout. I was surprised that she had this effect on me. No one had ever been able to steal my words and breath away.

_And I've got this feeling  
That everything's alright_

Maybe everything would be good again. She was so forgiving. So much more than I deserved. I was slowly accepting the fact that she truly did love me, enough to forgive me of my atrocious actions. I held her tighter, wanting to believe that, knowing, somehow, that it was true, no matter how much my logical side told me it wasn't. Bella was the one I needed to believe in. Not myself. I would probably just screw things up again, but Bella….She would fix everything. Make the world right again. Such was the beauty of this wonderful littler person.

_Don't you see?  
I'm not the only one for you  
But you're the only one for me_

I growled furiously. This dog was putting my Bella in pain. But the fury was directed internally. Again, this was my fault. I had left her and the consequences came in the form of that young pup. She cared for him, and I had to accept that. I couldn't get angry with her, not for something I had caused. She could be with him. It would be safer for her. He was the one she belonged with. He was human. I was not. It didn't matter that she was the only thing in the world that mattered to me anymore. She didn't deserve this pain. If being with him made her happy, then she could do it. She deserved happiness after all that I had done to her.

_If you leave me tonight  
I'll wake up alone_

"You don't have to stay with me, Bella," I said, staring into her eyes as I held her by her shoulders. "You deserve better than this."

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward," she said firmly, her eyes blazing, letting me know that she was certain. I felt a familiar agony wrench my body. I didn't deserve this, didn't deserve her. I was a horrible, cruel, selfish monster. I would deserve it if she dropped me and left, never spoke to me, never thought of me ever again.

_If you leave me tonight  
I'll wake up alone  
Don't tell me I will make it on my own_

"I love you, Bella," I whispered as she nestled closer to me, closing her eyes. I still couldn't believe she still wanted me there, to be with her as she fell asleep. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Stay with me," was all she said as she pressed her head against my chest. I felt the damp heat as tears dripped from her eyes, staining my shirt.

"Always, my precious angel. Always," I promised, wrapping my arms around her and placing a kiss to the top of her head. "I don't deserve you. You're much too good for me."

"I love you," she mumbled, kissing the base of my throat. My breath caught at the feeling of her warm lips on my skin. I closed my eyes and held her close, knowing that I didn't deserve such happiness.

_Don't leave me tonight  
This heart of stone will sink till it dies  
If you leave me tonight_

**I absolutely love that song. I thank Secondhand Serenade for writing it for me. Okay, so maybe he didn't write it for me, but still. I love him for writing it. :) Now, you know the drill. Review. Click that button. Make it squeal. Okay, that didn't make much sense, but still. Do it!**


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